How do We Respond?

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Bitter, or Better?

We can control only one thing in this life. That’s how we respond to outside stimulus.

We have a choice every time we are confronted with something that challenges us. Our response demonstrates who we truly are.

Most of us live this life in quiet obscurity, the choices we make are largely ignored by the world. Some rise to a level where our actions are noticed by a larger circle of people. Either by blogging or working as a teacher, a pastor or a local politician our actions and responses are taken on board by more people. And we get judged for them.

Sometimes rightly so.

Then there are the most visible. National Presidents, the “mega-pastors” like Jesse Duplantis, Andrew Wommack, Paula White and so on. Their actions, lack of action and other responses get the attention of millions. Their endorsement (or lack of it) for a particular candidate can sway tens of thousands of people.

But whatever their impact, as individuals they face the same issues we all face: whether we allow events to make us bitter, or use them to improve things.

Getting bitter is decidedly not what God has in mind for us. I wrote recently about trying to leave my comfort zone. For over a decade I sat blaming everyone else for not getting things moving even as far as writing this blog. It was frustrating, but eventually I met someone who became my closest friend. She managed to get me to realise that what stopped me was not what anyone else said or did. It was my response of choice – at that point generally letting myself get bitter about denied opportunity – that was the real issue.

By the time I met Thuli, I’d already started the blog. It was great to get the affirmation though. I needed the encouragement as I struggle to follow through sometimes. I still do.

Procrastination is “comfortable” when there’s no specific deadline. dino-arkBut eventually, not accomplishing what I feel God has called me to leaves me disgruntled. Then I look around and I can either get bitter or better from the experience.

I still choose “bitter” more often than I’d like to admit.

I’ve been invited to go overseas several times in the last year to preach. Finance is always an issue for me with these things. Travel is expensive, and it’s hard enough to cover our daily costs without adding an extra trip to it. But then I keep looking for where I can find funding and I get increasingly bitter that the sources dry up like a mirage when I step towards them.

Every time.

So I try to look at what I can do to generate the funding this ministry needs, within the confines of the law, to get me to Kenya, India and all the other places that have invited the ministry to visit.

Without getting bitter about not being able to just jump on a plane and go.

It’s not easy.

This going through “The Dream Giver” season of entries here wasstubborn inspired by wanting to open the doors into what God has for me as an individual, and this ministry as a vehicle.

So I keep trying to step forward. It’s not easy because I’m a little stubborn.

But we all can be like that.

I’m just trying not to be for once. I’m trying to be accountable to myself for my actions – because doing nothing is in itself an action.

It’s hard.

But it’s worth it.

Anger Management

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“Be angry, and do not sin” Ephesians 4:26a

I have a temper. This I know. I’ve struggled with it for most of my life. More than lust, more than anything else I get angry. I see red.

Especially when someone I love has been hurt.

But not exclusively.

Anger gives place to the enemy in my life. It always has done. I have a mean streak that can be downright sadistic at times, and it’s not something I’m proud of. This is a confession, not a boast. It is the source of my greatest weakness, but when channelled correctly it can be a source of great Godly strength.

Unfortunately for me, most of the time it get misdirected.

We all have an aspect which allows the enemy to get a foothold in our hearts. Mine happens to be my temper, but I know people who struggle with greed, lust, envy and all manner of things that can be positive attributes if we use them the way God intends.

What it comes down to at the end of the day is pride.

It’s a sense of being wronged either by a perceived sleight, or someone else getting the promotion, the raise, the lotto win or anything where we believe ourselves to me more “deserving” than the other.

Sometimes it’s not wrong. I have had several people through the last 30 years come to me for help because they have been raped, assaulted or abused in some way. It’s not wrong to feel anger about the event. Nobody deserves that kind of tragedy in their life. It’s not wrong to be angry that cancer has afflicted a member of your circle. God hates those things. When Christ returns and the World is destroyed and reborn they will cease to exist. All pain and anguish will vanish and we will be left with Joy.

The problem for me – and many others – is the inability to separate the action from the perpetrator. Christ drove out the money-changers and traders from the Temple (twice) because He was overcome by zeal for the Holiness of God, not hatred for the men themselves. He went to the Cross as much for the traders as He did for the Disciples. Some of them may have been in the 5000 added to the Christian numbers after Peter’s sermon on the day of Pentecost in Acts. Others may have never returned to the job. For all we know, Zaccheus may have been among them.

Anger in itself is not sinful. Consider Jesus’s actions:

  1. He sees the Temple court being used for decidedly ungodly trade
  2. He looks around for cords and takes the time to braid them into a whip
  3. He takes the whip and marches into the Temple
  4. He starts a riot. Tables are overturned. Animals are driven into a frenzy.
  5. His anger is controlled. He gently releases the doves rather than throwing the cages to the floor

There is nothing pacifistic about the actions of Jesus that day. The Renaissance paintings portraying Jesus as about 120lbs soaking wet cannot be accurate. Could such a man single-handedly cause such a riot? This was a freight-train power, unstoppable and immutable. Hardly a nine-stone wimp’s actions. I weigh over 200lbs and I doubt I could do what Jesus did that day.

Yet there was no sin in His behaviour. It was a measured, calculated and controlled use of force. There are no recorded injuries from His actions (except the pride of the traders). Even the animals are unhurt, if a little panicked. Sinless anger.

Would that this were my skill.

I don’t fare well when I’m angry. And people get hurt. Usually emotionally, but I’ve been known to throw a punch (although not in the last 26 years or so). But that capacity is constantly present, just below the surface.

Paul says we need to take our thoughts captive and submit them to Christ. It’s something I struggle with. I remember Tony Campolo, a man whom I respect but don’t always agree with, at a festival in 1990 in England saying he was once asked “Would you be free from your burden of sin” and his response was “Ya know, it’s not really that b2ec7-p1030925_editedmuch of a burden. Actually I like it. I wouldn’t do it so much if I didn’t enjoy it!”

I can identify with that when it comes to anger. It’s a place I feel comfortable. It’s familiar to me. Anger has been a refuge for me for 30 years. I hide in it and let my sheer physical strength and mental brute force run amok of anything that gets in the way.

Hardly Godly.

But we are called to control ourselves. Or rather we are called to submit ourselves to God before we react. For me that’s a work in progress.

But we can make progress.

I have more peace in my heart now than I did when I began writing this post a few hours ago. Nothing externally has changed, in fact in some ways things have got more complicated.