Proverbs 13:12 has been on my heart a lot the last few weeks. Initially I was focused on the first part of the verse. I’ve lived in a state of deferred hope for a long time. I suffered depression so dark that I couldn’t see a way out and even tried suicide more than once – I don’t recommend it as a plan!

My life story has been filled with loss and brokenness. But there’s also been times of hope that have kept me going. It’s easy to forget the good when the bad hits in such waves.

“A tree of life” is how the passage describes what it is to have the hope fulfilled. Life.

Hope deferred is a way of life today. Depression, suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism are just symptoms of the desperation the World has filled our hearts with. Insidious promises we can never hope to achieve dog us daily in this world.

The Enemy of our Souls has found a way to trap us. We live mndane existances that only the most cynical would call life. We stopped asking the deep questions long ago. Why are we here? What is God’s plan for us?

These questions drove the first Christians in the Bible. St Paul spent his whole life after meeting Christ on the road to Damascus seeking the answers. He phrased is simply with 2 questions:

1. Who Are You?
2. What do you want me to do?

His hope kept him alive through everything. I grew into Faith that the Romans could ony stop in this World by cutting off his head.

Major questions today are “what’s for dinner” or “when does the game start?” We have been fooled into thinking these are the meaningful questions. Answers like “get a degree”, “get a promotion” or “stay in your cubicle” catrate us from living the life God has intended. We need to use our imagination to give us Hope, our Hope to feed our Faith, and our Faith to proceed into living the dream.

Then we need to ask God to expand it. Our Longing will be fulfilled.

We will have Life.

We use the words every day. Hope. Trust. Faith.

They’re so glibly thrown around that we forget the real power of these words.

I “hope” it doesn’t rain. I “trust” we’ll be ok. It’s not the way God looks at the words.

Rick Warren, a teacher I admire a great deal, recently endured an unimaginable tragedy in their family. Earlier today he went onto Twitter and wrote “The real tragedy is that most people never trust God until they have to, and then they have no experience to fall back on”. Later he wrote “It’s not enough to have hope. We must persue hope, practice hope, and preach hope” and “Real hope doesn’t deny tragedy. It faces it head-on. Hope says ‘yes it’s really bad, but I still trust God.'”

Tragedy hits us in life. We can’t always avoid it. The enemy of our souls strikes out at us at every opportunity. He exploits our weaknesses to seek to drive us away from God and into his trap. He minimises the power of words until we become unaware of how much power we wield.

Proverbs 18:21 in the Amplified Bible says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].” We live oblivious to the Truth. Hebrews 11:1 in the same translation says “Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, <sup class="footnote" value="[a]”>the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].” 

Jesus faced tragedy head-on. Fully human, he endured the full range of human emotions. He laughed with His friends, wept for loss, and experienced anxiety so intense He sweated blood! He also faced death, and defeated it.

Jesus did this by practicing Trusting God for everything, from the smallest morsel for His own needs to feeding a crowd that was maybe over 15000 people, since only the men were counted.

He stated that the things He did, we would do also, and still greater than that. Personally I’d be praising if half the issues I face would heed my prayers and depart. For 41 years I have been hounded by sicknesses in my body, cancer in my family, and death of some of the people I cared most about. I even reached a point after my commitment to Jesus that I fell so low leaning on my own strength and pride that I attempted suicide. 

More than once.

Then one day it hit me. God brought some scripture back to my memory. He reminded me that I was more than a conqueror, but that my declarations over myself were killing me – literally. I spoke nothing but death over myself for almost 2 years. It wasn’t an easy pattern to break, but through His strength in me I broke it by learning to trust Him, and to hope for a future that seemed out of reach, then to learn to have faith inspired by God for that future.

Is my life perfect? No. There are many things God is working on in me, but I’ve learned that it’s ok to be a leaky vessel, because God will just keep topping me up when I ask Him to – which is usually several times a day.

My heart goes out to Pastor Warren and his family. I have Biblical Hope that from the aftermath will come pure Gold, refined by God’s fire, and I pray constantly that we will all Trust a little more today than yesterday.

There is a day coming up in the next couple of weeks I’m dreading. Every year for the last few I’ve dreaded this particular day. It reminds me of something I’d rather not be reminded of.

I’m getting older.

Last year I turned 40. In ten days I will be 41.

I have only realised the dread it fills me with since I hit 35 and I realised that the 3 score and ten years noted by Moses were half up.

And I swear they get shorter as I get older.

My best friend is several years younger than me, as are most of my colleagues, which sometimes helps me feel younger than my yeaars – a good thing. Then something comes up in conversation which reminds me I’m not in my 20’s any more.

I’ve developed an addiction to the TV series Bones, and find I would like to liken myself to the male lead, Booth, played by David Boreanaz. Booth is a senior FBI agent and trained army ranger who specialised as a sniper. Aside from being roughly the same age I actually have nothing in common with Booth, but I identify anyway. I was a reasonable marksman at my school with a rifle, and have learned to fire pistols since leaving, but not to the character’s level of expertise.

Where I identify is in the areas not work related.

Booth is in his early 40’s, and because of combat his body has taken it’s share of punishment. I ride a motorcycle, and have picked a fight with the planet a few times, so I have some aches and pains. I never managed to serve in the RAF as I hoped to growing up because my introductory medical revealed that, whilst at that point I was physically resilient enough to fly, not being able to see the eye examination chart made it impossible for me to continue in my preferred role as pilot, or any of my back-up roles as they all required 20/20 eyesight.

This still didn’t stop me identifying with Booth, especially in one episode he asks how it was he went to bed as Han Solo and woke up as Obi-Wan Kenobi…

Now don’t misunderstand me here. I actually don’t mind getting older mostly. My hair is slowly being replaced with a solar panel, and my 52 inch chest and shoulders have slipped down and become a 40 inch waist, but I’m working on that now. I was told I had diabetes a few years ago, which I’m controlling and (with a LOT of Spiritual help) fully expect to be able to see reversed in the next 2 years.

What I dread about my birthday is not the day itself. It’s the value this world places on youth. Every year it gets harder for me to find a new employer because there’s someone ten years younger who’ll do the job for half the price because they don’t realise how much power they can control in an interview.

The Bible says to revere our elders. Today’s Western and pseudo-Western philosophy reviles them. I am regularly told I’m too old to apply for certain jobs, not because I’m physically incapable, but because they need someone who speaks modern technobabble, which I’m not even certain I can spell.

I re-watched one of my favourite movies yesterday, Space Cowboys. Clint Eastwood, Donald Sutherland, Tommy-Lee Jones and James Garner sent into space to fix a satellite that has a programming language none of the youngsters at NASA can understand. Age is no barrier to them as they essentially use the wisdom of age to con their way into the shuttle program by managing to fool medical staff, fitness assessors and the managers of the program. I love the movie because their age is what makes them valuable. It’s simply impossible for a younger person to fix the problem.

The world loves it in a movie – old and wily guys putting one over on the boss – but in real life it doesn’t happen. It was fun to see Stallone, Schwazenegger, Willis, Norris, Van Damme, et al poking fun at themselves in Expendables 2, but who in real life these days would hire a bunch of guys over 50 when they can get guys of 30?

The issue is that the story appeals to us because it’s in our hearts. We want to be revered for our wisdom gained through blood, sweat and years of work. It’s hardwired into the God-given soul of every human on the planet. But the enemy is subtle, or actually not so much.

A wounded animal is dangerous, far more so than an uninjured one. And an animal that can feel the end is close becomes ferocious. My wife was badly bitten by a dog she tried to save after it was hit by a car outside our home. It went on to chew up her cellphone (and hand again) and then finally the basket the local SPCA inspector tried to put it in to take it for emergency treatment. Sadly the dog died before it got to the vet.

In these days, Satan has robbed us of 2 consecutive generations of fathers. World War 1 and 2 eliminated many of the men who would have gone on to be sages in their communities, and scarred many of the others who survived so badly they simply were unable to fill this vital role.

As a result there was a generation born in the 1940’s and 50’s who were fatherless and had to work it out themselves because fathers and grandfathers were either emotionally or physically not there. The result was the “free love” generation of the 60’s and the following downhill slide of Western society through the 70’s up to today. Society demands men be men, but does not teach us how.

I was Blessed in than both my grandfathers came through WW2 intact, mum’s dad in the army and dad’s in the Salvation Army as part of the Home Front. They played a major role in my life as a child and into adolescence before mum’s dad died and then into my mid 20’s when Grandad died. As a result, I was able to learn from them and see how not only my own father treated his family, friends and even adversaries, but also how they did. I have a quick temper, but I have learned through their example to curb it.

Grandad was 80 when he died. He was Deputy Bandmaster at his local Salvation Army Corps in Wimborne, Dorset – he refused to accept the post of bandmaster, despite there not being anyone to take the role as he had no formal musical education. We spoke 2 weeks before he died, and I am still trying to assimilate everything he told me in that one conversation. He “retired” technically, but for almost 20 years afterwards until the day he died – literally – he went out on a daily basis selling copies of The War Cry, and talking to anyone who would ask about Jesus and Salvation. Children loved him. Older folk – over 35 – loved him as well, but there was an age range he told me where they had known him as children, then after they hit about 18 he would lose touch until they looked him up again between the age of 30-35.

Our dreaded days are the years we lose because this world tries to cheat us out of them. We are not old enough to be considered elders, and too old to be “useful” in the modern workplace. When I was talking to a friend recently about a project God is building, the comment was made that it was nice to have someone more mature giving their experience and input into the venture. I agreed, then realised it was me being referred to. We both laughed about it, but I still feel like Booth. I woke up one morning to find my youth has gone – and now I’m Obi-Wan!

Perhaps I shouldn’t dread the times coming now though. Whether Christ returns now or in a thousand years, this is the last generation I can reach personally.

In retrospect, God has guided me through storms and tempests for over 40 years. I trust Him to do so in the future as well. So I’ll rest.

No fear. No dread. Just the peace in the midst of the turmoil that I’m being held by the One who can make a difference to any life at any age.

When I was at school we were taught about Easter & Christ from an intellectual perspective. Intellectual knowledge often prevents Spiritual Truths from taking root. I was thankful then that I already had deep roots in my faith. The intellectual part of my mind tried to drive my faith out.

The recounting of the events of Easter week are, from a “scientific” view impossible. Yet every argument I have ever heard against the resurrection is more implausible than the Resurrection itself.

The description of Christ’s execution is precise. Lashed and nailed to a beam and left to die by men who did this for a living. The Jewish leaders, desperate to prove Jesus wasn’t the promised Messiah, ordered the legs of the crucified to be broken. The soldiers, to prove that Jesus was already dead, stabbed Him in His side, causing blood and water to flow. In trying to prevent one prophecy about the Messiah from being proved – “These things that happened confirmed the Scripture, “Not a bone in his body was broken,” and the other Scripture that reads, “They will stare at the one they pierced.””John 19:35-37 (The Message)

The scripture predicts the Crucifixion in psalm 22, and the prophet Zechariah predicts the piercing in chapter 12:10.

Scientific arguments of the falsification of the accounts include the concept of Jesus was only in a coma and revived in the tomb, simply wandering out when he woke up. The physical beatings he had taken before the Crucifixion itself, followed by the cross would have rendered Him physically incapable of moving the stone from the entrance of the tomb. If he had moved the stone himself, the guards would simply have killed him where he stood and put the stone back.

Accounts of the appearances of the Risen Christ are recounted from sources outside the accepted scripture. Josephus, Pliny and other historians of the day record the message of the Christians being spread after the crucifixion. Evidence of the speed their message and influence spread is demonstrated by the merciless persecution and martyring during the remaining years of the Roman Empire until Constantine converted.

And yet today people doubt Jesus’ very existence, despite more primary source evidence for his life than there is for Julius Ceasar or any of the ancient Pharoahs,

Charles Baudelaire stated the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn’t exist. – And no, Kevin Spacey in ‘The Usual Suspects’ was not the original source of that quote.

If that is so, then he’s working on the second greatest now. If there is no Devil, why do we need a Saviour? If we don’t need a saviour, what’s the point in Jesus, and did he ever actually exist?

I am in touch with some people I went to school with. We differ in our respective beliefs. They, at best, describe themselves as agnostic. I don’t argue with them any longer. I pray that someone will be put in their lives who can show them the folly of their beliefs. I know that person is not me. Jesus himself said that a prophet is without honour in his home country. I accept this, although enough of my friends of my own generation have died now without, to my knowledge, accepting Christ’s sacrifice. It saddens me greatly as these were (mostly) people I respected at school – and there weren’t many of them of my peers -and I wish I could have done more to reach them.

Easter is the time of miracles, New life and power through Christ’s Victory over Death on the Cross, building up to Pentecost and the gift of living fire in the Holy Spirit to the believers as was prophesised by Joel.

I have in my home a cross on a shelf. It is the focal point as you enter our home.

It was Rene’s idea. A simple expression of our faith, more poignant now for us than other times of the year. She chose the cross because of the nails, and we placed a candle in front in order to remind us of the Light of the World.

You can believe what you wish about the Scripture. I will not try to force my beliefs on anyone. Read CS Lewis’s “Mere Christianity” or Tony Campolo’s book “A Reasonable Faith” for insight int a “logical” argument for Christianity, or get around people who live this life, spend time with them and see Christ in Action in our lives. I am not afraid to live my life as a Christian. I have flaws and I fail in more areas than I often care to admit, but my closest friends have seen me wrestle with fear, depression so deep it has almost consumed me, anger, apathy and all the enemy’s tools to the point where I have stood on a precipice and considered letting myself fall. Each time there has been a good friend to speak Truth to me (in fairness, usually the same good friend) and set me back onto the Rock of my Salvation.

I am truly Blessed to be involved with friends who can share my walk as a part of a fellowship borne through fire and battle in the Heavenly realms.

Any arguments you may have about the authenticity of the Easter story I’m happy to answer, asked in earnest. Leave a comment and I’ll reply. If all you want to do is to attack me personally, don’t waste your time.

Good Friday is normally a day of great significance to me on a personal level. I normally spend it with family or friends. This year has been a bit different.

The battles my family and friends have been fighting are massive, and can appear insurmountable. There has been death, financial loss on a massive scale, severe illness and in-fighting within the family that has left division and wounds on both sides.

Hardly a way to begin Easter weekend.

I have spen the day asleep, sleeping from around midnight Thursday into Friday until after 6pm today. Now I find myself thinking about the year so far.

I am not happy in my job. It’s showing in my behaviour there. I feel it’s tie to leave in my heart but I see no clear path to move in. I hear no voice saying this is the way to walk in. Ironically, God seaks to me to give messages for my friends and family in encouragement.  Confirmation of their visions and dreams being from Him who made our paths, but not for myself. I can’t understand it. I habe no option but to concede that my own selfish desires are getting in the way. I look to my own understanding too much of the time.

A few years ago I had a near miss while I was swimming off a beach in South Devon. I love the ocean, and this particular beach is a great beach to swim at, no currents to pull you out to sea, just a gentle beach slope into the water. We swam out to a row of buoys and back then lay in the sun enjoying good company. It never occurred to me that the tide was coming in when we set out for a final swim before going home. We swam out to the buoys again, but the distance was much further. By the time we reached them I barely had the strength to hold onto the ropes holding it in place. As we set off for the shore again, I knew I wouldn’t make it. My breathing was laboured, my muscles screaming, and I couldn’t reach land. I didn’t have the strength for one stroke. Then a voice from behind me offered me help. A lifeguard had been watching over me and seen my struggle. Before I reached the buoy he launched a small powered dinghy and took a circuit round to approach me safely. I didn’t have the strength to hold the ropes on the side of the boat. I was heavy and exhausted. Easily the heaviest in the group (by over 25kg/50lbs). The rescue guard hauled me out of the water into the boat and took us back to land.

I feel a little like that now. Out of my depth, unable to pull myself onto the rescue boat that has come to drag me to safety. But it’s Friday.

Good Friday.

A friend posted a slightly fascetious comment on facebook which I take very seriously. Thank Christ for dying.

I agree. But not with the sentiment he made.

I see a truth in his statement.

Thank Christ for Good Friday, Thank Him for surrendering to death on a cross to save us. Our life-boat. For pulling us out of the the ocean of this world and setting us up with life.

Jesus died on Friday. But Sunday’s coming.

No, this isn’t about th iconic Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western. If that’s what you’re looking for, well read on anyway – you have nothing to lose…

I am a man with simple tastes, for a first-world boy. I just want hot and cold water, fire in the hearth when it’s cold and a fan when it’s hot, my dvd player not to refuse to play my favourite disc (even though I’ve played it so often it looks worn out to me), a good cup of tea (after all, I am English) and an income enough to meet these needs.

Basic first world stuff.

Unfortunately, I no longer live in the first-world. No matter what the TV coverage of the soccer world cup a couple of years ago may have suggested, South Africa is in no way a first world country.

I earn around $800 per month – depending on the exchange rate – with the possibility of a monthly incentive of up to $300 on top of that. Assuming I make average incentive every month, the financial laws here would allow me to pay a mortgage bond of around 30% of my salary. So if I assume my average monthly income to be $1000 I can pay a bond up to $300. Sounds ok, until you examine the other facts:

1. in the last 10 years house prices have almost tripled while incomes have not increased by half that. A house that cost around $40000 ten years ago is generally worth around $100000 now.
2. Interest rates are around 9% – 10%, so the average person looking at a $40000 house 10 years ago has to look at houses in line with their income – they can now only afford a house of $75000.
3. Electricity has increased dramatically as government forward planning didn’t account for the increase in demand. Ten years ago I spent around $15 a month on electricity. Now I spend $20 per week – after converting to cooking on gas.
4. Rateable value tax on property is based on the house’s current market value, not what you paid for it. The result? Many people fall behind in their rates and water bills because of the increase in charges being more than the increase in income.

In real financial terms, the majority of people have significantly less spending power than they did 10 years ago. 

That’s the bad.

So far probably wondering what this little rant has to do with God, given this is a God-driven blog. Keep with it.

Here’s the ugly…

In the last few months, vinyard workers in the Western Cape have gone on strike asking for a pay rise to $10 a day. Miners and others classified as “unskilled” workers were fired on by police officials. People died. In scenes straight out of the apartheid era they were gunned down by police. Deaths were inevitable.
At the same time, the nation’s president has been accused of using public funds to build a new homestead for his personal use – not an official residence which will be passed to the next incumbent. Costs into millins of dollars diverted into the project. Yet he claims to be “in touch” with the people.

Here’s the Good:

God’s power is moving in this land. People are being positioned strategically for a new outpouring of His Spirit. Dormant believers are being activated, latent gifts unused in years but gently ticking away are being turned up to maximum. New skills are being discovered and revealed to God’s children.The fight may be intense for some of us, but suddenly there are warriors with a fierce heart around us, on our side. The storm hits, but we are supported enough to get through it intact.

There are Truths to overcome the facts:

1. He will never let our circumstances dictate His outcome.
2. Our abilities are not the issue – Our trust in His Provision is what matters
3. Irrespective of the circumstances, God ALWAY has our best interest at heart
4. The rates, taxes and fuel prices, the “shopper’s basket” and the buying power of the consumer is irrelevant. If God has given it to us, all we are charged with is receiving.

 So maybe this title shoud be “The Bad, The Ugly and God’s Still Good”

What do you think?.

It’s been an interesting 2 weeks.  This entry has more of a “story” than most of my writing on this blog, but bear with me. There’s a point to it all…

My wife’s Grandmother, lovingly known to us all as Mamma, passed away and her funeral was held – in Windhoek. Having applied for leave from my employer – who out of “respect” I’ll not name here – offered me the Friday and Tuesday off to travel from Cape Town to Windhoek by road. 1000 miles approximately. Each way. I pointed out that it had to be Friday & Monday. Thankfully, the management understood, and granted me emergency leave to attend the funeral.

It’s a long drive – around 15 hours. I actually love the road. The first time I drove it I was captivated by the beauty of the landscape, and the emptiness of the land.

There are so few corners in the road that my first thoughts were of the old Roman Roads in England, but they are way shorter than this one. The entire country is shorter than this road. The road is hypnotic in its sameness. It just blends into itself during the drive, the only changes coming as we pass a limestone quarry or as the light changes during the drive.

I drove up with my wife and her brother. The drive was long – no breaks setting off at 11pm and driving until the middle of the afternoon the following day, only stopping for fuel. I can’t sleep in a car – not for lack of trying – so by the time we arrived on Friday I was exhausted and had been awake for 36 hours straight. I slept for a couple of hours then we had what for our Namibian family was the third memorial service in a week. I didn’t follow most of it as the talks were all in Afrikaans, however although limited in speaking, I did manage to glean some of what was spoken as the minister spoke from Romans 8:18-39. It was a deeply moving service, for all my lack of understanding the language, the spirit of the service was as clear as crystal.

Saturday saw the funeral itself. Six hours in Afrikaans in the church and at the graveside. Didn’t understand the words, but the spirit was again completely clear. It was a beautiful and moving experience for a very special lady.

We set off to drive home on the Sunday, arriving Monday evening. I drove the majority of the homeward leg. While driving through the night is a stressful experience in itself, having a large bird of prey eating carrion on the road as you come round a corner, take off and fly head first into the bonnet of the car. It certainly woke me up. Hitting something big enough to disable a car at 140kph is a disturbing experience. Stopping and looking at the damage and realising God was protecting us from the impact is humbling. Just 1cm either way and the car would be undriveable. Closer to the passenger side and it would have ripped into the headlight and wing, crushing the wing into the wheel and causing the car to spin out of control. Closer to the driver’s side would have destroyed the radiator which would cause the engine to seize in short order. The only impact point where there would be nothing but superficial damage was the exact point of the impact.

I went to work on Tuesday, but was wrecked by the end of the day. On Wednesday I apparently called my manager, although I don’t remember doing so, I woke up in the afternoon. Thursday I went in again, and only got through the day by my wife bringing me bioplus caffeine tablets. I made the decision at that point that I was not fit to work and made an appointment for the following day to see my GP.

As we were settling down to rest in the evening we got a call from my sister-in-law. My wife’s brother had been taken seriously ill. We went through to their home where she assessed him and made the arrangement that she would sort out hospitalisation the following morning.

Friday saw my brother-in-law admitted to hospital and my doctor sign me out of work until the following Wednesday – officially diagnosed with stress and burnout. I thank God for the support he has placed around me. That His Grace has proven sufficient in strength to carry me this far, and to allow me to give support to my wife and her mother at this time.

I went back on Wednesday as planned, and although tired at the end of the day I had peace about being back. Thursday was a normal day, and then Friday…

Friday was raining. I suited up – anyone who knows me knows I’m a biker. Have been for 20 years. The problem with being a biker is on a wet road you’re vulnerable. For the second time in 12 months the bike slid out from under me – fortunately this time it was a low-speed fall.

“For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.
 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:11-12

My wife, understandably given the firestorm she’s been through in the last few weeks, is not thrilled at me riding any longer.

I see something different. I have bruises, not broken bones. I have mild headache, not concussion. My rainsuit is undamaged, and the bike runs as though nothing was wrong. The most damage is one slightly bent footrest, which doesn’t interfere with the running of the bike at all.

The point of the story for me?

God keeps His promises. He never promised we would not know heartache, loss and suffering. He promised He would hold us through them.

Or as Paul put it:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,<sup class="crossreference" value="(CD)”> nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God<sup class="crossreference" value="(CF)”> that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8: 38-39

Turnabout is a funny thing. It’s the essence of Christianity. The jargon tends to use “repent”, but the basic meaning is the same.

In the last 2 years our family life has undergone a turnabout. In a big way..

My wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I had to move from us earning in excess of R70000 per month to less than R10000, but with the same outgoings. Try it sometime – it cripples you financially. Our formerly reliable car has developed old age problems and started breaking down at inopportune moments. We have a family of 4 moved into our spare room in December who will be a family of 5 by the end of the week, and I get almost no downtime to decompress.

I’m a late-night person, technically, but it’s trying to balance that from the perspective of the chaos surrounding me that distresses me. I can’t find anything. My kitchen, which is filthy, is atrocious. I love the family, and they have accommodation from March, but a huge part of me wises they could stay. In the last 2 months they have grown immensely, and so have I. I’ve been a father to them (yikes) and a surrogate grandfather to their children. Their antics push back my time for myself, time to recharge. This weeked I’ll be travelling to Namibia to attend the funeral of a very dear lady, Mama, Rene’s grandmother. She’s doing ok under the circumstances, but our finances are totally skewed for February month end. I’m even cosidering dropping the level of medical cover I have to make it more affordable.

Our life got turned about.

In the last few days, Rene has sart saying if it can fall apart so easily, then we can see it turn around into God;s idea for our life.

The turnabout nature is exactly what God wants for us. Turning away from Satan and his wiles, submitting to God and seeing him flee from us like James describes. Capturing every thought and allowing God to have free reign in our lives allows us to live Free.

Living by God’s rules, making that turnabout into His Church family gives us freedom beyond our imagination. Allowing the Holy Spirit to set up His home in our heart allows the fruit of the spirit to grow. It allows us to move in ways impossible without. We can literally see the sick healed, the deaf hear, the blind see and the dead rise.

Freedom from death, freedom from debt, freedom from sickness. Restored relationship with God. There’s no guarantees on this issue though. I love my wife dearly, but that has opened me up to attack through her and the other people I care about. My best friend at work, an invaluable warrior in the Spirit has had her own battles to fight, some of the most vicious coming after she became my best friend, standing by me and supporting me. It’s the way Satan operates. His attacks on them break me down, try to force me to capitulate and sing his tune in place of the Glorious Worship God places in my heart.

Its not pretty befriending someone on the front line. In the first world war, there was a cameraderie between the soldiers which was cautious in many cases because they didn’t know if tomorrow they were going to be dead. In the great stories there is always a core group around the central character. Frodo has the Fellowship, Bilbo has the company of Thorin and his companions, Maximus is supported by the other Gladiators, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy fall into Narnia and Aslan has prepared an army for them. Even in TV shows you’d not expect it, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel surround themselves with a circle of friends who fight and are ready to die for the cause. Jack O’Neill has SG1 and Jack Bauer has CTU. It’s a hard life for the central character, they have their story and the result turns their lives around on an episode by episode basis, just as a reflection of what happens in the real world.

Turnaround, repentance, whatever you want to call it is essential to our walk. We must remember that we are part of the inner circle that walks with Jesus, and it’s an awesome existence. If we don’t meet resistance from Satan and his forces, it generally means we’re moving in the same direction!

Turn around, trust Christ and let Him give you True Freedom.

I was challenged recently by a close friend of my wife. I posted a comment on my facebook page I had believed to be quoted from Bill Cosby, and found I agreed with the majority of what was said, so I re-posted it.

I have discovered since that it was actually a quote from a US Senator in a 2009 blog (http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2009/02/robert.html)

The current version of the post talks of people who deliberately leech from Western society, taking advantage of the average tax-payer by deliberately changing their appearances to prevent them being offered employment, and an array of social issues, but also it speaks of Islam.

Now I’m not someone who generally sets out to offend people, although the meaning of “tact” and “subtle” are alien concepts to me. I speak my mind, and feel free to disagree with me as much as you wish – I have my opinions, I believe in Biblical principles, and if you don’t then it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends in the worldly sense, but you’re unlikely to be in my innermost circle.

I’m hardcore. I believe the Bible literally – in the original language meanings, not necessarily the English translations as they are only as accurate as the individual translator when a word has a plethora of uses or meanings. English is not the rich language it once was, and as a consequence some nuances from the original get lost in translation. My favourite example is when a friend who’d studied geology told me we were living in the seventh major geological era. I thought about it, and suddenly Genesis makes sense. Exchange the word “day” for the word “Era” and suddenly we have a very different picture of creation. An era can be thousands of years, some even more. But the seventh is still a work in progress – like us.

Back to literal. The quote offending my wife’s best friend objects to the liberal Western society putting up with watering down their societies by allowing Islamic places of worship and schools to be built, whilst the countries many of these people have fled from refuse to allow Christian places of Worship or educational facilities to be privately funded. Indeed a group in one country,  was prosecuted under a local Islamic “blasphemy” law ruling the use of “Allah” may only refer to Islam, no other deity. Fine with me, as I pray in the name of Jesus, but the local churches had printed a Bible in local colloquial language to teach the Gospel and had used “Allah” where in English “God” would have been used.

I’m not right-wing in most of my views, but I’m learning the value of principles. The Bible says we should let our Yes mean YES, and our no mean NO! Easy to say, but hard to do. Especially in a customer-service environment. Harder in a multi-cultured society like South Africa where individual beliefs are taken by many as sacrosanct.

I’m a firm believer that Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth and Life. I know nobody comes to God the Father unless they accept His sacrifice. My wife’s friend knows I believe this, so we generally don’t speak of our religions to maintain the peace for the sake of her friendship with my wife.

This time was different. I believe CS Lewis said something to the effect that the Truth of the Christian Message will always provoke a reaction one way or the other. In this case, it was opposition. Strong opposition.

My agreeing with the statement did not alter when I found out it wasn’t Bill Cosby who’d made it. My understanding of the statement stands, and I will not try to water down the message. I acknowledge that the teachings of Islam have been twisted into a weapon to attack the West, just as 1000 years ago the teachings of Christianity were twisted to justify the Crusades (Genghis Khan school of Evangelism). A fundamentally peaceful teaching used to break spirits and wills and force that religion down people’s throats.

Christianity is about absolutes. Jesus’ message wasn’t “be good and we’ll accept you, regardless of who you believe in”, it was clear: Believe in Jesus and accept His sacrifice made in your stead, or die. Through the entire Bible we see God say this, but follow it instantly with the instruction to choose life because He loves us.

I love and respect my wife’s friends who are not Christians. They are entitled to their opinion, and to make their own choices. But I refuse to compromise my faith to accommodate theirs. If we go to their home for a meal I am not offered a pork chop, but halal beef or chicken. No wine with the meal. Don’t get me wrong, the food is delicious, and they are wonderful hosts – I enjoy her family’s company enormously, but they will not eat at our home. I don’t have Halal cookware. My pots and pans and crockery have ham, bacon or pork on it or prepared in it once a week on average, in fact I have ham sandwiches most days for work. I did, at one point, have 2 braai/barbeque griddles, one for Halal meat (with paper plates) and one for non-halal foods. I don’t any more. It was a waste of space. If you enter my home and eat my food, it will most likely not be Halal.

I don’t expect our muslim friends to provide non-halal food to us. I disagree with the faith, but it’s an individual’s right to choose.

There’s no space for grey in God’s world. Grey isn’t one thing or the other. And it never can be anything but grey once the world gets hold of it. The Power of Words results in misunderstanding & miscommunication when they are taken out of context.

I, along with millions of Christians around the world, believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to relationship with God. It’s not rocket science. Biblical scripture declares it to be so, and I have an ongoing relationship with God through Jesus that sustains me. I make mistakes, but they will not result in me being cast out into Hell because I accept the Salvation of the sacrifice of Christ on my behalf. Anyone can.

But there’s no half measures in Christianity. Either you’re Christian or you’re not. Black or white.

There’s no room for grey.