Describe a family member.

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks.

Nine days ago, my beautiful wife died. There’s no sense in any language to describe the experience.

Over the last few years she’d been losing a battle with depression, but most people who met her had no idea. They also didn’t know how much physical pain she was in.

The thing is, her Faith kept her going. She never allowed anything she was going through to take it. Of course, she would ask “why?” when the storms hit.

But mostly, she was an amazing lady. She would give the clothes from her back to keep someone else warm. She’d taken food from her plate to feed the hungry.

Professionally, as a GP in the community she was someone who refused to just do the bare minimum. Consultations with emotionally hurt patients would take an hour because she knew they needed to be heard. I never heard anyone complain about having to wait because they knew she was going to give them the same love.

In our family life she lived the last six years for our son, Ethan. His happiness was the reason she got out of bed each day. The strength to fight to find an answer to the pain she was in was driven by her passion to be the best mother she could be.

I’ll never be blessed with anyone like Rene again. She was my Joy, my Love, my Soulmate. Truly my Helpmeet. She drove me mad making lists about everything. She will always be the One I Loved to the end.

When we marry, we don’t easily think about the vows. ‘Til Death parts us.

Now death has come. We celebrated 21 years of marriage last month, and next week I will have to say “goodbye” to her in Church.

The pain is indescribable.

I am left with the memory of the most amazing gift she could have ever given me. 21 years of shared love, laughter, pain, joy, sickness, health. A little more time “richer” would have been good, but we’re not promised everything, just asked to be faithful to each other. For 21 years I have known the most important thing of all. Love.

I don’t know what the next step is. Such a powerful person missing. We were supposed to have another 20+ years.

To my darling Wife, René Elise Lewin: I love you more than you knew. More than I could express. You gave me your heart and blessed me with your companionship for almost half my life. The intensity of your presence is matched only by the emptiness in your absence.

Sleep tight my darling.