OK, this is a short-ish knee jerk reaction to hearing about another death linked to the book “To Train Up A Child”
I will happily start by acknowledging I have not read the book in it’s entirety, merely what are claimed to be quotes from it in articles I’ve seen recently.
I love the verse in the Amplified Bible. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” It makes it so clear that the training is to be in that child’s gifting.
Fear breeds fear. It leads to anger. It leads to Hate. I know I’m starting to sound like Yoda here.
Hate cannot lead to love. It’s like saying I’ll sin more so I can have more forgiveness. That teaching would be laughed out of most churches today (although I’m sure there’s one out there…)
Yet the teaching methods as quoted are breeding grounds for fear, anger, hate and violence. Treat a child with violence they will eventually be violent in some form. Either to themselves or outwardly. Both are destructive. The world does not need another Columbine or Newtown thanks. Neither does it need more suicides.
I came close to suicide as a teen because of bullying. The love I was raised in, some very good friends at the right place at the right time, and I’m here to write about it. But no matter how well meaning the friends were, without the foundation of who I am I would have succombed back then.
I promised this would be short.
Discipline is necessary be it training a child or a dog. Right now I am sitting in a room about 10 feet by 8 with my wife sleeping next to me, surrounded by 3 dogs, the smallest being around 70lbs (+/-35kg). They are quiet and peaceful and only get upset when a stranger treats them in a way other than they were raised.
I wouldn’t use the training techniques quoted for children to train my dogs – and if I did the SPCA would remove them from me.
Just a thought to round off my night. But one more add on.
Remember when you decide to raise your child: One day they’ll be taking care of you. Bet you’re suddenly thinking that rubber hose discipline method and starving to encourage “correct” behaviour isn’t such a bright idea after all…